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        <p> 狱警给三人间的犯人们介绍新成员：“他是李代沫，吸毒。”一白发老者马上走过来寒暄“久仰久仰，在下北钙薛蛮子”，然后指着那个捂着屁股的小孩说“他是东邪李天一。” <a href="/jokes-5-4754" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 马上过年了，终于能有三天假期了，一年365天，就三天假，怎么安排这三天呢，不能浪费了，睡三天吧！ <a href="/jokes-5-4753" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 前几天我在火车站等车，一个大爷过来说没钱买票了，缺9块我给了10块，大爷一溜烟跑了，然后一个老太太过来问我给了多少给她也给点，然后心情一下不好了，不是没见过这样的只是忍不了，诶！！！！ <a href="/jokes-5-4752" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 什么是尴尬，就是和你不太熟的人请你去喝喜酒。然后新娘朋友你不认识，新郎朋友你也不认识。一个人坐那里，和傻子一样。 <a href="/jokes-5-4751" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 昨天晚上，LZ开着面包车急着送货，偏偏遇到的红灯又多。在其中一个红绿灯路口，等红灯还剩一秒时，惯性放下手刹，入档踩油门，车子就这么过了斑马线到了十字路口中间，猛得抬头一看，红灯还是显示一秒。 LZ就这样在十字路口中心那里看着一秒的红灯在那闪了五六秒才转绿灯（这样貌似算冲红灯了吧）。。。 <a href="/jokes-5-4750" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 看朋友们晒从小到大的照片，为什么女的女大十八变，越长越漂亮，而我们男的小时候挺好看的，但越长大越残，，，重要的事说三遍，这是为什么呢，为什么呢，为什么呢？ <a href="/jokes-5-4749" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 拨通自己的号码，　　“您好，您拨打的电话正在通话中。”　　知道自己并不孤独，我也就安心入睡了。 <a href="/jokes-5-4748" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 办公室里，女同事问男同事：　　“你说，是不是男人结了婚就完蛋了呀？” 　　男同事听后一愣，回答道：“不知道，　　不过你跟我结了婚，以后你就可以玩蛋了。” <a href="/jokes-5-4747" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 小王因为吝啬被同学嘲笑为铁公鸡，　　他伤心的回家和妈妈说了这事，　　终于，在妈妈的开导下，　　小王学会了打鸣。 <a href="/jokes-5-4746" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 一日见一女同事在弄她那新打的耳洞，　　于是走过去问：“你这打耳洞不疼吗？”　　回曰：一个不属于你身体的东西插到你身体里，　　能不疼吗？顿了一秒，女同事脸红了，我选择默默离开。 <a href="/jokes-5-4745" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 今天晚上去买卫生巾，　　收银员是个男的，　　觉得尴尬于是抱怨了一句，　　怎么是个男的呀。　　前面一个学姐转过来对我说，咋的，　　妇产科的大夫要是个男的，你还不生了呀 <a href="/jokes-5-4744" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 女汉子一枚。周末回家睡衣拖鞋不洗脸，　　扎着头发在上网。弟弟过来看了我一眼说，　　姐，为毛我走街上看女孩都是高跟鞋，　　裙子，和好身材的女神，　　回家再看你，你就是个收破烂的……… <a href="/jokes-5-4743" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 朋友圈有时候可以把女孩的人性反射得淋漓尽致。　　若是漂亮，她多半会自恋；若是富有，　　她多半会炫富；若是机灵，她多半爱耍聪明；　　若是博学，她多半好为人师；　　若是也不漂亮也不富有也不机　　灵也不博学，她多半会被拉黑。 <a href="/jokes-5-4742" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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        <p> 昨晚在酒吧遇到一个令我心动的女孩。　　我鼓足勇气走到她跟前说：“聚际必散，　　积际必尽，生际必死，高际必堕。世事无常，　　一切如过眼云眼，人生苦短，应当及时行乐。　　美女，跟我去我家好吗？” 　　女孩被我饱含哲理的话打动了，　　立刻答应了我：“行，我跟你走！　　不过你先把架我脖子上的刀放下好吗？” <a href="/jokes-5-4741" target="_blank" class="g_tx">详细&raquo;</a> </p> 
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